


Silent

by Purrfect_timing



Series: Marry now, love later (+ Extras) [7]
Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, Sad and Sweet, They had kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 23:45:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16464596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purrfect_timing/pseuds/Purrfect_timing
Summary: When Naruto saved Kakashi from Hiroki [Movie: Will of Fire], he wanted a lot of things. He wanted to save the village that he loved, he wanted to save Kakashi. He wanted Kakashi to accept his friends and his place in their hearts. He really, really wanted Kakashi to see him. In the end, Kakashi did. Kakashi fell in love with Naruto. And somehow, Naruto was not able to understand exactly...why. And how.So can one blame the sixth Hokage of Konohagakure that he expects that love to fade? To transform into something ugly?





	Silent

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Silent

I was not silent when I rushed to save Kakashi. Fighting Shikamaru. Fighting Gaara. I thought, we were past making futile sacrifices. Should not Gaara know how much it hurt when we built our future on sacrifices not on hope? When we spent our days in fear and not in hope? When hope was just a concept stained in blood? When hope became the will to die and not to fight? What could we be proud of? What have we become – what would we become – when we sent our comrades into certain death? When it was our first choice to send one of our own into death?

Scum.

I thought we had become better.

I thought I knew Kakashi better.

But Kakashi never saw himself as a comrade. We were his comrades but he was not ours. He always saw himself as replaceable. He always thought he was not worth it. The moment I heard it had been Kakashi’s choice, I had understood that. He told us to value our teammates. He never saw himself as one. Just an instructor. Just the squad leader. Just Kakashi. I so desperately wanted him to see himself differently. He _was_ Kakashi, _our_ squad leader, _our_ instructor. _Our_ friend.

We would not abandon him.

Sakura thought like me, Sai did not understand it yet but felt like we did.

To change his self-perception Kakashi had to survive. And we would bring him home.

 

Leaning against a pillar, Kakashi was unmoving. Just unconscious, I hoped, but feared the other. I wanted him to live. I wanted him to see me become Hokage. I wanted him to take the bells back and annoy me with those damn ‘get my bells’ training session. I just wanted him to wake up.

“Dammit!” In sheer frustration I hit the pillar Kakashi was leaning on. “Why does it always end like this?” Why was I never able to keep my friends safe? Why were you just so...why were you not paying me attention even now? Why, why was I not able to keep any promises?

“Good morning.” your hoarse voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Not really hearing what you said, I searched for the bells I fixed for you and repeated the words you had told us back then. You never trained us but you taught us. I just wanted you to live. And see how we – how I was living up to your teachings. I just wanted you to see me. The attention Kakashi was paying to me was exhilarating. It made me want to try harder.

 

It was exhilarating. How you opened up to me. Like I was the only person who really deserved to know. Getting to know you was amazing. The sides you normally did not show. The sides you did not know of.

 

It was scary, just how much I loved your attention. It was scary to think, you were just humoring me.

 

It was humbling to see you so broken and hurt when I tried to leave.

 

That night, alone in bed and recovering from the injuries inflicted by Sakura, I reflected on what I had done. How I had betrayed you.

 

 

Naruto arrived late at night. Being Hokage was taxing. He loved it but he knew how little time he had for his family. Granted, he saw the whole village as his family. But Kakashi, Aiko and Kazuko had a special place in his heart. They knew that, he knew that and yet, they all felt the strain. Kakashi probably felt it last. Being as selfless as he was.

More days than not, Naruto arrived home when his family had long fallen asleep. More nights than not, he did not come home, slept on the couch in his office to wake up and jump right into work. More times than not, Naruto missed important milestones in his children lives. The only reason why he had been able to attend their academy enrollment was because of the speech he had given. The only reason he saw them these days, awake and healthy, was because of Kakashi who picked them up after school and dragged them to whatever meeting Naruto had to sit through. Rudely interrupting it and announcing that poor little him had forgotten all about that meeting. What a shame. Now he stood there with their children who were very much excited about the prospect of having lunch with their father, the Hokage. Pointing at the two girls who (on command) teared up and looked absolutely miserable. They took after Kakashi way too much.

In nine of ten times, Kakashi succeeded and the meeting was postponed to after lunch. But those ambushes had stopped. Kakashi’s serene smiles had lessened and their children looked at the Hokage monument with disdain.

Naruto peeked inside of the bedrooms of Aiko and Kazuko. Watching each of them sleep for a few minutes. Then he went into the bathroom. Kakashi usually prepared his nightwear for him there, so he would not disturb the jounin’s sleep. Finishing his nightly routine, Naruto tiptoed to their bedroom. Of course, he did not have to tiptoe but in the beginning, it had amused Kakashi. So he would continue doing it in hopes, Kakashi would start smiling again.

Entering the bedroom, Naruto was made aware of two things. He had not been inside their bedroom for a few days. The sheets had been changed into a dark grey without patterns. A dim light close to the door was present just in case, their children had a nightmare and looked for their papa. Not for their dad, not anymore. Because dad was never around anyway. Naruto swallowed thickly at the thought. But what made him tear up was Yukio sleeping next to Kakashi. In fact, Kakashi was surrounded by them. By Pakkun, Bull, Urushi, Shiba, Akino, Uhei and Guruko. Draped over Kakashi like a living and furry blanket. In his arms, Naruto saw the pug-plush he had gifted to Kakashi once. The Hokage had seen it on a mission and just bought it. Normally, it would sit on their dresser. Normally, Kakashi forbade the ninken to sleep with them on the bed. In a perfect world, Naruto would be with him every night.

Naruto understood them. He truly did. And they understood him. They did. Naruto did not consider it selfish if they wanted to see him more. He himself wanted to see them more. To Naruto, the whole village was his family. To them, they had been reduced to the less important part of a big family. Less important because they were fine without him. And the remaining family depended on him. He did not regret his decision to take the Hat. But he was unhappy nonetheless.

“You’re back early.” Kakashi’s sleep drunken voice snapped him from his thoughts.

“Yes. I finished earlier than expected.” Naruto kept his eyes on Yukio.

“That’s nice.” The silence between them was aggravating. Before, Naruto had known what Kakashi was thinking before Kakashi had figured it out himself. But now. Now there was silence filling in for the words unspoken. And Naruto had no clue what was left unspoken. Regret? Hate? Accusations? He deserved any of that. Suddenly he heard a deep chuckle. “You are thinking too hard.” Naruto’s eyes snapped to Kakashi. Stunned by the soft look in his eyes. Gently, Kakashi pushed Pakkun off his head and Bull from his chest to sit up. Bull jumped from the bed, circling around his own axes until he found the perfect spot to settle down. Pakkun immediately jumped on Bull’s head to go back to sleep. “Are you planning on standing there the whole night?”

“No...”

“Do you need to go poop?”

That shocked a laugh out of Naruto. “What? No.”

“Are you sure? Kazuko-chan has the same expression on her face when she tries to hold it in.”

Another laugh. “I’m surprised that you can speak so freely about it.”

Kakashi chuckled and motioned for Naruto to come to bed. “I potty trained three girls. I’ve developed a resistance to anything related to defecation.”

“Three girls?” Naruto sat on the bed, accidentally waking Yukio and Shiba. The two dogs gave him a friendly lick and retreated from the room. No doubt to check on Kazuko and Aiko. “Did I miss something?”

“Well, Sakura-chan was busy with her work and Sasuke-kun was on his mission so someone had to be 24/7 around to read Sarada’s facial expressions in case she needed to go. Because I was training Kazuko-chan and Aiko-chan anyways, I just had them all in a room and watched them.”

Naruto swung his legs onto the bed. “That must have been years ago!”

“I promised to Sakura that I would never tell you if did not ask. And those are things you cannot unsee, Naru-kun.” Kakashi took Naruto’s hand to pull him closer.

“Wait, are you saying I look like a toddler who needs to poop?”

“I’m just describing what I saw.” Kakashi had wrapped an arm around Naruto’s shoulders. They shared a minute in silence. “Sometimes, it’s just hard to be understanding and happy at the same time. You do know, we are not angry at you?” Kakashi asked at last.

“Yukio!” A high-pitched whine sounded from the hallway. Interrupting Naruto’s answer. “Why are you being so pushy, like, literally!” Yukio pushed a half asleep Aiko into their bedroom. Followed by a still sleeping Kazuko, dragged in by Shiba.

Aiko took one look at Naruto and Kakashi and kicked Kazuko in her side. “Wha-” The girl jolted awake. “What was that for, idiot?!”

“It’s family time, now move.” Aiko replied, taking her sister by the collar.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kazuko looked to the bed, and stopped resisting.

“Sometimes, I think, I did not have any impact on their personalities.” Kakashi murmured, yet too quiet for their daughters to understand. Or so they thought.

“Of course, you do, papa!” Aiko jumped into bed, pushing Kakashi until both Kazuko and Aiko could fit into the space now created between Naruto and Kakashi. They snuggled into it while the ninken positioned themselves around them. “We both prefer dogs over toads for example.”

“Of course you do. Toads are not appealing at all.”

“Hey! I loved Gama-chan!”

“Eeew!” Kazuko grimaced. “Toads are really, really annoying. Acting all high and mighty. Dogs are loyal and loving and warm and furry. Much better.”

“The two of you will be summoning dogs?”

“Sure we will.”

“Maaa, you are way too young to decide that now.”

“You summoned Pakkun when you were five.” Aiko said

“And don’t say those were other times.” Kazuko interrupted. “You summoned Pakkun on duty for the first time when you were eleven. You can’t tell me, a genius needed six years to train a genius pug.”

“Plus, it makes you sound really old.”

“My daughters are being mean to little old me.” Kakashi pressed closer to Naruto, resulting in pushing them all closer together. Nobody complained.

“Normally, one considers signing a summoning contract after mastering water-walking.” Aiko contemplated. Ignoring her father. “We both can do tree walking already.” Naruto understood what they were doing. “We started on water-walking a week ago...” They were catching him up.

“You should not choose your summon by level of cuteness.” Naruto smiled. They were happy, he was with them.

“Otherwise everyone would be summoning dogs.” Kakashi supplied earning an exasperated look from Naruto and some high pitched giggles from their daughters. Approving barks from the ninken.

“Anyway, you should consider your specialization first. Do you know your strengths and weaknesses already?” He meant it as a joke, he surely had not known his weaknesses as an academy student. But the children just groaned.

“Don’t start like that, too, dad!” Kazuko whined. “Papa is already really annoying during training. Let a girl dream a little!”

“I’m considered being a low chakra all-rounder.” Aiko offered. “Probably the Hatake blood showing. I do have nearly perfect control and basic knowledge of power tai-jutsu which would make me a good front line medic. But I don’t really want to spend my free time in hospital like Sakura-neechan. Or having those weird temper issues like Tsunade-baachan. Tracking would be appropriate, too, but being second to an Inuzuka is just not my style. Sorry, papa.” Kakashi grumbled playfully. “I’m pretty good in stealth and acting but papa forbade me to even consider espionage.”

“I second that.” Naruto chimed in.

“Fine. Anyway, my skill-set would be complemented by a ninken. Don’t forget, even if papa’s summons are focused on tracking, ninken have a wide variety of abilities. Perfect for an all-rounder.”

“Show-off!” Kazuko shouted. “Just because you’re the genius does not mean, you are better than me!”

“I did not say such thing. Merely pointed out what I am capable of doing as of yet.” Aiko smirked. “Not my fault, you think you are inferior to me.”

“WHAT!” Their daughter nearly stood up. “Fine! I have a great stamina, huge chakra pools and I am way better in sealing than you! I’m pretty good with weapons, too. You are just as good as me in stealth. I’m planning on learning some lightening jutsu soon, too. SO! I at least know what I’m going to do with this! I’m a front liner with offensive sealing skills and soon to be the best known kunoichi for her ninjutsu-skills! Kazuko of the 100 jutsu!” Then she seemed to deflate. “I’m aware that ninken are not really known for supporting power houses. And I don’t want to be like an Inuzuka...But...I’ll figure something out!”

“You really put a lot of thought into this.”

“Of course!” The two girls shouted. “We will make you proud!”

“You already do.”

“Nope. Like, really proud! We have a legacy to continue after all.” The two of them pointed at their chests. Kakashi looked surprised like he heard them talk like that for the first time. “Peace and Love.”

 

I promise I will never leave you again.

 

I love you.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooooooo...because of my RL-schedule, I will have to change my posting schedule...sorry. I will try to post every other week. 
> 
> Hope you liked, the story...


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